(no subject)

[mnt_raph]

Day started slow. Didn't fall asleep until the sun was overhead. Or at least, that's what it felt like.
Too much to think about. Thinking about home, and the idea that it was so quiet the last time I was there, because it's frozen. That time has frozen there.
Decided to get a drink. Ended up blandly listening to two self proclaimed vampires prattle on about god knows what.

Then, next thing I know Bartleby is there. All I've had to eat or drink all day is straight Jack.
So I decide to keep an eye on him. Wouldn't want to threaten him, oh no.
So he starts in on me. Reminding me that I'm alone. That when we're gone, it's over.
Starts making me think about what happens next. I honestly don't believe I have a soul.
I just don't.

So I turn to walk away. Get so caught up in trying to be good, I let everyone down. The job I shoulda been doing was done by some Brit magician.
And then when I do try to help, I find out again that I'm totally useless.
It was like I disappeared after that.
I don't even know how Liz is.
Or Pete.
Let everyone down again.