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mnt_raph"Is everybody in? Good. Let's begin."
"Patient is a white muggle male. Approx guess is early twenties in age. Presents with broken ribs; scattered lacerations across the face, arms and torso; and a concussion. Initial diagnosis was difficult due to the overabundance of..."
"Excuse me, what do you mean approximate guess? Have we changed the vital statistics protocols since yesterday?"
"Uhh...no sir."
"So then maybe you want to explain to me why there's an age approximation on this patient's chart."
"Sir you see..."
"Is your wand broken?"
"What, Sir?"
"Your wand. Is it broken."
"NO, Sir."
"Well then, maybe you would be so kind as to tell us all why it is that you did not cast Aetas aestimo the moment this patient was entrusted into your care."
"I tried, Sir. But it...it wouldn't work. The spell just...disbursed, Sir. Or he absorbed it, I'm not sure which."
"How many 36 hours shifts have you worked in the last two weeks?"
"Four...but I don't see what this has to do with anything! Try it yourself! You'll get nothing."
"Fine. Aetas aestimo."
"See! It's just...the magic just....it's like it disappears. And it doesn't matter how close you get to him, it's just...gone. It doesn't matter what the spell is, it's like Taffylon."
"Teflon. Wait, didn't you say he was a muggle?"
"Yes, Sir. As far as I can tell he is. He was admitted last week along with Nymphadora Tonks's husband, Sir. He was there with them, Sir."
"Is that why he's still unconscious?"
"No, Sir. I uh...I've stunned him, Sir. Repeatedly."
"I thought you said..."
"It's the only spell that works, Sir. And good thing, really. He's a nasty bastard when he's awake. American."
"Hmmm. Yes. Right. Anything else?"
"Yes, a lot actually. The UNMENTIONABLES wouldn't give us much personal data, and he was uncooperative like no other patient I've seen, but from what I've been able to find ...he doesn't exist, Sir."
"Doesn't exist. Well, he's right there."
"That's not what I mean, Sir. There's no record of him anywhere. He doesn't even have proper fingerprints. And his bloodwork...it...it's off the charts. There's no way that he could possibly be human, and that's why I...that's why I contacted you, Sir."
"And it's a good thing you did. He's a nice catch. A good find. Get his discharge paperwork moving forward."
"Discharge, Sir?"
"Yes. Discharge this Raphael, and admit Subject #122.125. If he was unknown before, then no one will miss him."
"Patient is a white muggle male. Approx guess is early twenties in age. Presents with broken ribs; scattered lacerations across the face, arms and torso; and a concussion. Initial diagnosis was difficult due to the overabundance of..."
"Excuse me, what do you mean approximate guess? Have we changed the vital statistics protocols since yesterday?"
"Uhh...no sir."
"So then maybe you want to explain to me why there's an age approximation on this patient's chart."
"Sir you see..."
"Is your wand broken?"
"What, Sir?"
"Your wand. Is it broken."
"NO, Sir."
"Well then, maybe you would be so kind as to tell us all why it is that you did not cast Aetas aestimo the moment this patient was entrusted into your care."
"I tried, Sir. But it...it wouldn't work. The spell just...disbursed, Sir. Or he absorbed it, I'm not sure which."
"How many 36 hours shifts have you worked in the last two weeks?"
"Four...but I don't see what this has to do with anything! Try it yourself! You'll get nothing."
"Fine. Aetas aestimo."
"See! It's just...the magic just....it's like it disappears. And it doesn't matter how close you get to him, it's just...gone. It doesn't matter what the spell is, it's like Taffylon."
"Teflon. Wait, didn't you say he was a muggle?"
"Yes, Sir. As far as I can tell he is. He was admitted last week along with Nymphadora Tonks's husband, Sir. He was there with them, Sir."
"Is that why he's still unconscious?"
"No, Sir. I uh...I've stunned him, Sir. Repeatedly."
"I thought you said..."
"It's the only spell that works, Sir. And good thing, really. He's a nasty bastard when he's awake. American."
"Hmmm. Yes. Right. Anything else?"
"Yes, a lot actually. The UNMENTIONABLES wouldn't give us much personal data, and he was uncooperative like no other patient I've seen, but from what I've been able to find ...he doesn't exist, Sir."
"Doesn't exist. Well, he's right there."
"That's not what I mean, Sir. There's no record of him anywhere. He doesn't even have proper fingerprints. And his bloodwork...it...it's off the charts. There's no way that he could possibly be human, and that's why I...that's why I contacted you, Sir."
"And it's a good thing you did. He's a nice catch. A good find. Get his discharge paperwork moving forward."
"Discharge, Sir?"
"Yes. Discharge this Raphael, and admit Subject #122.125. If he was unknown before, then no one will miss him."
