OOM: On the roof.

[mnt_raph]

*It's quiet. Blessedly quiet. Raph doesn't know why the racket stopped, but he's not going to complain. After a fantastic night's sleep, and a hot shower, he's pretty sure he could take over the world. That he's ready for just about anything....except, what's waiting for him outside of his bathroom.

He opens the door to the bathroom, and steam rushes into the main room of the tent that dreams of being a studio apartment. Wrapped in just a towel he makes his way to one of the dressers, when he feels eyes upon him. He turns.*

What the hell are you doin' here?

Comments

[mnt_mike]

Mike is relaxing on Raph's bed. The tent seems to have made it for him while he was in the shower. He's leisurely flipping through a Martial Arts Magazine. He looks up at his brother.

"Do you think Splinter would let me start a Vampire Farm?"

[mnt_raph]

What?!?
*Raph shakes his head...he doesn't want to know. He really doesn't want to know.*

How did you get here?

[mnt_mike]

He looks back down at the magazine.
"I jumped. I bet a vampire farm would be lucrative business venture. Don't you? And how do you argue with something like that?"

[mnt_raph]

Yeah, but how did you even find it...and what the hell is a vampire farm?

*Damn, he was hoping that question wouldn't slip out...now Mike will have to tell him.*

[mnt_mike]

He responds to the first question in a nonchalant manner.

"Raph, a blind deaf mute could find you. You're not that hard to track."

But then he sits up, and suddenly looks interested.

"Okay, so I was talking to this guy named Oz, right? And he's from California where they have a Hellmouth, right? And he says that it makes Vampires. And you know how Leo is always telling me my bedroom is a Hellhole? Well, I figure, if I get enough dirty laundry and empty pizza boxes, I can start a Vampire farm on Long Island. It's a great idea. You know it is."

[mnt_raph]

Mike, that's the stupidest thing I've ever....Just get off my bed.

*He makes his way over to his dresser and starts setting clothes aside.*

[mnt_mike]

Mike folds his arms.
"No. I'm kind of comfy here. In fact, I really like this tent thingy. I think I might move in. How does that grab you?"

[mnt_raph]

*Raph pulls a Harley Davidson shirt over his head.*

About the same way I'm about to grab you to toss you off this roof. Get. Off. My. Bed.

[mnt_mike]

He leans against the headboard.
"No. Not until you tell me my idea about the Vampire Farm is a good one."
Then he smirks.
"Or you could tell me what's up with you and Death."

[mnt_raph]

*Raph takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. It's going to be one of those situations, is it? The ones where Mike doesn't let a matter drop until the breaking point.*

No. And. No. Get!
*He grabs a pair of boxers and pants and starts to head towards the bed.*

[mnt_mike]

Mike doesn't move, but he begin to scream in a falsetto.

"HELP ME! OH HELP ME! The big bad man is going to beat me with human skivies!"

"You know Raph, you're a brave guy trying to threaten me while you're wearing nothing but a towel. I mean, the fact that you're even using a towel tells me you'd be more ashamed of not having one, than I would be of taking it from you."

[mnt_raph]

*He stops and thinks about this. Damn. Mike's right. Raph changes trajectories and makes his way towards the bathroom, slamming the door when he gets there.*

You've got exactly one minute to get off my bed, before I pick both you AND the bed up and toss you off this roof.

[mnt_mike]

Mike settles in again, returning to the bathroom. While he reads, he gives Raph a one minute long monologue on the benefits of a fully functioning Vampire Farm.

[mnt_raph]

*From behind the closed door*

GAHHHHHHH! STOP. STOP. JUST STOP! SPLINTER WOULDN'T EVEN LET YOU GET A CAT! WHY DO YOU THINK HE'D LET YOU TRY TO RAISE VAMPIRES!

[mnt_mike]

"Well, that's where you come in, actually. Come on Raph, please?!?!? I'll never ask for anything again!"

[mnt_raph]

*Raph emerges fully dressed*

Oh you've GOT to be kiddin' me. Didn't I just call it the Stupidest Idea Ever? An' hey...what did I say about bein' on my bed?

[mnt_mike]

"That you liked me here and you want me to move in, but that I think it's too soon for that, because I'm saving myself for marriage?"

[mnt_raph]

*A slow smirk forms*

Mike, you know I've had sex in that bed, don'chu?

[mnt_mike]

Mike blinks.
"Right. Moving."

And with that he quickly relocates to a chair by the dinette set.

"Now would this sex involve Death, or Penny? And what's with you and women with Singular Noun names?"

And yes, the word sex was framed in finger quotes.

[mnt_raph]

*Raph just looks at his brother.*

[mnt_mike]

"Sex with both Death AND Penny?"

He offers helpfully?

[mnt_raph]

*The look turns into a glare, and then Raph folds his arms*

[mnt_mike]

"Sex with Death and Penny together?"

He grins the grin of someone who knows they're going to die.

[mnt_raph]

*He knows. He knows that if he says anything that it will just spur on more questions. He also knows that if he doesn't say anything, Mike will not let this particular question drop until it has an answer. He also knows that his face is glowing a lovely shade of red. Or...the manly equivilent of 'lovely' anyway.*

So...Vampire Farm, huh?

[mnt_mike]

Uh huh, try another one Raph.

"See?! I knew you'd come around. Oz knows this one domestic Vampire, and I bet we can get him to help us start our operation...I say our because we'll be partners. Anyway, we'll set up shop on Long Island. Once we get things good and going, we can branch out, start an experimental operation, try some selective breeding. I'm thinking aquatic Vampires would be good. And don't for one minute think that I'm going to forget about the question that I asked that you're clearly trying to avoid. You're nonanswer only gives me many answers to choose from......"

He grins.

[mnt_raph]

*Raph grits his teeth and tries to continue the normal conversation, hoping Mike will get distracted.*

Long Island huh? Only thing they got there are diners and The Mets. Good choice. No one will miss a thing.

[mnt_mike]

"Yeah, I thought you might like that. Think of it! A cute cuddly domestic Vampire in every home! They'll be more popular than puppies! Great for any occasion, be it Halloween or Valentine's day!"

He smiles. It's the smug smile of someone who will not be derailed.

"Come ON Raph! You can't keep stuff from me like this! Aren't I your favorite brother?"

And thus begins the whining.

[mnt_raph]

*grumbles*
not right now you ain't.

*If only the world could see the little dark storm cloud gathering above his head*

[mnt_mike]

"God Raph! Stop being such a prude! GAH! you're starting to sound like Leo."

Yeah, it was a cheap shot, but if it's one thing he knows, it's how to play rough.

[mnt_raph]

*Raph whips around to confront Mike*

That's it.

*With that, Raph gets a good grapple on Mike's shell, lifting him up. He carries a deadweighted Mike out the door, and to the edge of the roof....where he drops him. Brushing his hands off, he goes back inside, making sure to lock the door behind him.*

[mnt_mike]

Mike can't help but be amused at his current situation. He smiles and lands softly on the grounds of Milliways.

"Hmmm. Swim or food. Food or swim. Decisions, decisions."