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mnt_raph"Morning, and how are we on this beautiful..."
"can it."
"Someone wake up on the.."
"I Said, can it."
"What in Merlin's name is the matter with you?"
"I've had a shit-tastic morning, that's what."
"Gracious, what happened?"
"Well for one thing my neck still fucking hurts."
"Still not allowing you to take any pain potions, huh?"
"Does this look like it's been treated with potions?"
"..."
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
"Is that...is that infected?"
"I sure as hell hope so, because right now it's the only thing I've got to explain what ever the hell it was that I walked in on this morning."
"Do I want to know?"
"Do you have a choice?"
"Right. No. Do go on."
"There's something wrong with the lab animals."
"Wrong...how?"
"I went in this morning and turned on the lights, like always, and specimen 9..."
"The little brown and white spotted one?"
"Yeah, him. As soon as the light went on he...it looked like he was trying to choke himself with his own tail."
"You can't be...oh alright you're serious."
"And anytime I tried to go near it to see what was going on, it was like every other rat and kneazle in the room went batshit."
"..."
"I know, I know. It sounds..."
"Batshit?"
"Fuck you...but yeah. It's like, they were all kind of protecting him. I've seen some studies of kneazles forming strong familial bonds, but not with prey animals, and certainly not in a laboratory environment."
"You do realize how this sounds...right?"
"Like a Flu-lagged American who's worked one all-nighter too many?"
"Precisely."
"And if that isn't bad enough, I keep losing my place."
"Oh...you're not actually attempting..."
"To diagram it's scars? Yeah."
"You really are a masochist."
"This shouldn't be this hard."
"Well, I wouldn't imagine it would be. Just time consuming. What seems to be the problem?"
"They don't match up."
"What?"
"The scars, they don't match up. It's like..."
"Isn't that the nature of scars? The fact that it's skin that didn't match up?"
"No...that's not what I mean. Look. This one on its hand. It goes from the first to the middle digit, right? But it stops inbetween. The flesh between the digits is pristine. It's like...it's never been touched before. This one here, looks like a burn of some sort. Again, there's nothing in between the digits. This one here is my favorite."
"You have a favorite?"
"Look, you do what you do to get through your day, leave what I do to get through mine, alone."
"Sure. Yes. Please lower your quill."
"Anyway, this is my favorite because look. On the third digit, this scar should go over to the fourth...and it does. Just not straight across. It's on the third joint, but that joint is four centimeters behind the third joint of the third digit."
"That...that doesn't make sense."
"But you're seeing it too, right? Because I'm beginning to get a really bad feeling about all of this. I mean...the Muggle technology?"
"Well that's just a safety precaution. You of all people..."
"Should appreciate what happens when he's subjected to magic...yeah yeah, I know. Every morning I wake up I know, thanks for pouring lemon juice on that papercut."
"Sorry, I didn't mean..."
"No, no. It's me that should be sorry. I'm sorry, I'm not through my third cup of coffee yet, and that tends to make me cranky."
"..."
"Oh don't look at me like that. It's the closest thing you're going to get to an apology."
"Point taken. How is the rest of this going? Gotten past its hand yet?"
"Huh? Oh...oh yeah, I've been at this the better part of the last couple of days. The hands and feet are the worst, but I've got a good portion of the rest of it landmarked."
"What are you're thoughts on this?"
"You mean other than the fact that it looks human? No idea. I've taken measurements..."
"..."
"By hand."
"Oh. Yes, yes of course."'
"And the only thing that I can get from them is that it's human. A perfect human bite. I mean, from what I can tell even the cusps on the molars are perfectly symmetrical. Do you know of any humanoid with perfect teeth, because I sure as hell don't."
"Believe me when I say it's something that we're going to investigate throughly."
"What do you mean?"
"From what I understand that is one of the first places we're going into first."
"Into?"
"Oh yes. Finish what you can of the landmarks, because later this week we're going in."
"can it."
"Someone wake up on the.."
"I Said, can it."
"What in Merlin's name is the matter with you?"
"I've had a shit-tastic morning, that's what."
"Gracious, what happened?"
"Well for one thing my neck still fucking hurts."
"Still not allowing you to take any pain potions, huh?"
"Does this look like it's been treated with potions?"
"..."
"Yeah, that's what I thought."
"Is that...is that infected?"
"I sure as hell hope so, because right now it's the only thing I've got to explain what ever the hell it was that I walked in on this morning."
"Do I want to know?"
"Do you have a choice?"
"Right. No. Do go on."
"There's something wrong with the lab animals."
"Wrong...how?"
"I went in this morning and turned on the lights, like always, and specimen 9..."
"The little brown and white spotted one?"
"Yeah, him. As soon as the light went on he...it looked like he was trying to choke himself with his own tail."
"You can't be...oh alright you're serious."
"And anytime I tried to go near it to see what was going on, it was like every other rat and kneazle in the room went batshit."
"..."
"I know, I know. It sounds..."
"Batshit?"
"Fuck you...but yeah. It's like, they were all kind of protecting him. I've seen some studies of kneazles forming strong familial bonds, but not with prey animals, and certainly not in a laboratory environment."
"You do realize how this sounds...right?"
"Like a Flu-lagged American who's worked one all-nighter too many?"
"Precisely."
"And if that isn't bad enough, I keep losing my place."
"Oh...you're not actually attempting..."
"To diagram it's scars? Yeah."
"You really are a masochist."
"This shouldn't be this hard."
"Well, I wouldn't imagine it would be. Just time consuming. What seems to be the problem?"
"They don't match up."
"What?"
"The scars, they don't match up. It's like..."
"Isn't that the nature of scars? The fact that it's skin that didn't match up?"
"No...that's not what I mean. Look. This one on its hand. It goes from the first to the middle digit, right? But it stops inbetween. The flesh between the digits is pristine. It's like...it's never been touched before. This one here, looks like a burn of some sort. Again, there's nothing in between the digits. This one here is my favorite."
"You have a favorite?"
"Look, you do what you do to get through your day, leave what I do to get through mine, alone."
"Sure. Yes. Please lower your quill."
"Anyway, this is my favorite because look. On the third digit, this scar should go over to the fourth...and it does. Just not straight across. It's on the third joint, but that joint is four centimeters behind the third joint of the third digit."
"That...that doesn't make sense."
"But you're seeing it too, right? Because I'm beginning to get a really bad feeling about all of this. I mean...the Muggle technology?"
"Well that's just a safety precaution. You of all people..."
"Should appreciate what happens when he's subjected to magic...yeah yeah, I know. Every morning I wake up I know, thanks for pouring lemon juice on that papercut."
"Sorry, I didn't mean..."
"No, no. It's me that should be sorry. I'm sorry, I'm not through my third cup of coffee yet, and that tends to make me cranky."
"..."
"Oh don't look at me like that. It's the closest thing you're going to get to an apology."
"Point taken. How is the rest of this going? Gotten past its hand yet?"
"Huh? Oh...oh yeah, I've been at this the better part of the last couple of days. The hands and feet are the worst, but I've got a good portion of the rest of it landmarked."
"What are you're thoughts on this?"
"You mean other than the fact that it looks human? No idea. I've taken measurements..."
"..."
"By hand."
"Oh. Yes, yes of course."'
"And the only thing that I can get from them is that it's human. A perfect human bite. I mean, from what I can tell even the cusps on the molars are perfectly symmetrical. Do you know of any humanoid with perfect teeth, because I sure as hell don't."
"Believe me when I say it's something that we're going to investigate throughly."
"What do you mean?"
"From what I understand that is one of the first places we're going into first."
"Into?"
"Oh yes. Finish what you can of the landmarks, because later this week we're going in."
