Maintaining a healthy Work/Life balance isn't easy for anyone regardless of who you are and how you define Work and Life.
If you're Raph, Work is: verb simultaneously defending and protecting two entirely different worlds while somehow managing to keep your efforts as secret as possible from what you define as Life.
Life: noun Abigail.
It's not easy what you're doing. Not the fighting, that part is easy and always has been. It's the lying and sneaking that seem to be getting to you. You remind yourself you do it because you have to. You do it to protect her and her world. You do it because the lie that brings a smile is so much better than the truth that usually results in screaming, and not the good kind. You do it because you love your Life.
But somehow even that doesn't change the fact that every day it gets harder and harder to maintain the lies. The stress of maintaining them builds and builds and you often find yourself wanting to pull your hair out and scream. Then you laugh and remind yourself, Good thing you're bald. Then you do what you always do and push the frustration down deep inside. You use it to fuel just one more all night scout mission or just one last after-hours Security shift, until you've all but burned yourself out entirely resulting in yet another day of you still being in bed even though it's well past lunch.
If you're Raph, Work is: verb simultaneously defending and protecting two entirely different worlds while somehow managing to keep your efforts as secret as possible from what you define as Life.
Life: noun Abigail.
It's not easy what you're doing. Not the fighting, that part is easy and always has been. It's the lying and sneaking that seem to be getting to you. You remind yourself you do it because you have to. You do it to protect her and her world. You do it because the lie that brings a smile is so much better than the truth that usually results in screaming, and not the good kind. You do it because you love your Life.
But somehow even that doesn't change the fact that every day it gets harder and harder to maintain the lies. The stress of maintaining them builds and builds and you often find yourself wanting to pull your hair out and scream. Then you laugh and remind yourself, Good thing you're bald. Then you do what you always do and push the frustration down deep inside. You use it to fuel just one more all night scout mission or just one last after-hours Security shift, until you've all but burned yourself out entirely resulting in yet another day of you still being in bed even though it's well past lunch.
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Date: 2008-11-19 07:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-19 07:31 pm (UTC)"Your only salvation was that I thought Abigail might be here." Beat. "How is Abigail?"
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Date: 2008-11-19 07:34 pm (UTC)Says Raph, glaring from underneath the edge of his quilt. He might almost be fearsome if not for the fact that he's still on the floor.
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Date: 2008-11-19 07:41 pm (UTC)"Ah," she says, lips twitching. "Well, someone has to step in and make sure your side is adequately pained. I'm only too happy to oblige. One moment. I'll find something sharp to poke you with."
Rustle, rustle.
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Date: 2008-11-19 07:43 pm (UTC)Raph clambers to his feet to reveal that not only did he just sleep in today, but he slept in today still wearing yesterdays clothing.
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Date: 2008-11-19 07:58 pm (UTC)"Are you ill?" she asks calmly.
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Date: 2008-11-19 08:31 pm (UTC)"No. Should I be?"
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Date: 2008-11-19 08:45 pm (UTC)"The day was in danger of being over before you ever got out of bed. In my experience, that means you're either sick or sulking. In some rare cases, both."
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Date: 2008-11-19 08:50 pm (UTC)OH, and probably a scratch here or there.
"Tired an' it's easier to sleep when the house is empty."
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Date: 2008-11-19 09:09 pm (UTC)Why must men scratch so? It had been one of the hardest parts of pretending to be male. That, and maintaining the fiction that she could pee standing up.
"Well, you're up now. I was hoping for a word before I left."
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Date: 2008-11-19 09:14 pm (UTC)"An' I work nights."
He explains as he makes his way over towards the washbasin and pitcher he keeps in the corner by the door.
"G'head, I'm listenin'."
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Date: 2008-11-19 09:33 pm (UTC)Standing, Alanna wipes her hands on her dusty breeches and turns serious.
"I might be gone a while, this time. We're hunting big game. Adam and Myles are due to take the children to Corus next week, then to Pirate's Swoop for the summer training camp. I'd feel better if I could leave Olau in your hands."
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Date: 2008-11-19 09:46 pm (UTC)"Think I can manage that. What should I be keepin' an eye out for?"
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Date: 2008-11-20 03:27 am (UTC)"Anything that looks wrong."
In every sense of the word.
"And I have another favor to ask," Alanna adds.
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Date: 2008-11-20 04:37 am (UTC)Says Raph with a smirk, before turning back to the pitcher. He'll be back online once he splashes some water on his face.
"Name it."
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Date: 2008-11-20 06:02 am (UTC)"Until they leave, if you're with the children and something happens, will you take them to Milliways?"
There's no particular urgency behind the question; her tone is even, relaxed. The lip biting, however, is an old tell.
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Date: 2008-11-20 05:57 pm (UTC)Raph stops what he's doing and slowly turns back to face Alanna, this time he's sure to make direct eye contact.
"Something? Something like what, exactly?"
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Date: 2008-11-20 09:25 pm (UTC)"Will you?"
She holds his eyes.
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Date: 2008-11-20 09:30 pm (UTC)"Though, know this: Things get that bad I'm pickin' your husband an' your kids up, throwin' all through that door, an' then I'm comin' to find you."
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Date: 2008-11-20 09:42 pm (UTC)"I knew I could count on you." She walks to the window and idly flicks a curtain aside. "What about Abigail?"
Sneaky Alanna is sneaky.
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Date: 2008-11-20 10:06 pm (UTC)She had to go there, didn't she?
"I...uh..."
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Date: 2008-11-20 10:47 pm (UTC)"Does she know yet?"
The answer might be obvious, but she's going to take this a step at a time. It's more fun -- and effective -- that way.
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Date: 2008-11-25 05:00 am (UTC)Nothing about the recent troubles in Tortall.
Nothing about Milliways.
And certainly nothing about...well, New York.
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Date: 2008-11-25 02:23 pm (UTC)Just a thought.
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Date: 2008-11-25 05:13 pm (UTC)"She uh...also kinda like...well, she stopped talkin' to me for a week when I was in lock up for hittin' that little girl as a panda."
Alanna has heard this story, yes?
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