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[mnt_raph]

Righting a wrong is often times hard enough. When you're righting a wrong that's solidly embedded into how you see and carry yourself, it's damn near impossible. And that just the task set before Raph; righting a wrong that is...him. It's every fiber of his being. It's...the tree to his forest. The existence of water to his fish. The...well, you get the idea.

Raph had been stewing over Alanna's words for some time now. He'd killed many a bottle of Sam Adams in his attempts to see things from this completely new-to-him point of view. It was working, but...wow was that work slow going, and even as he did so he knew the hardest trial was yet to come: how best to approach Abigail. The hours rolled into days, and still he had made no headway into how to confront the woman he loved,...the woman he had inadvertantly wronged. Until one day, when he could stand the separation no longer, he returned to Tortall.

Standing outside the door to the barn where he knew her daily routine would most assuredly place her, he takes a deep, calming breath.
Instantly a memory from a few days previous surfaces.

Raph was helping Mike with dinner preparations, ie: setting the table, when suddenly he threw caution to the wind and asked his brother:

"How would you go about apologizin' to a really really angry woman?"

"Oral sex. Lots oral sex," replied his hedonistic youngest brother, without so much as missing a beat.

Raph had no words.

"But that's just me. For you?" Mike continued, ever unflappable. "I'd suggest something a little more Pop Warner and a little less Varsity. Flowers? Coupon for a free kick to the nethers?"

"I hate you so much right now."

"I know. But if you're asking me for advice, you clearly don't hate me nearly as much as Abigail hates you right now."

Mike wasn't wrong. Infuriatingly, he usually never is.
Which is why, as he pushes open the barn door, he's carring a Star-gazer Lilly in one hand.

Comments

[becareful_boyo]

The truth of the matter is that Mike's advice wasn't far off. Oral sex would do Raph's case a world of good, but Abigail would be far too likely to cash in on that coupon for a free kick to the nethers before he'd so much as touched her knee.

As for the flower...

Well.

Abigail takes note of it as she leaves one cow and moves her bucket to the next, but she's not at all inclined to comment on its efficacy as a tool of reconciliation.

[mnt_raph]

He closes the door behind him, and then knocks on it. Yes, it's a pointless gesture seeing as she's seen him, but it's part of his plan.

"Hey," he says in a low voice he hopes sounds suitably penitent.

[becareful_boyo]

Abigil ceases the repetitive motions of her hands to have a look around, eyebrow raised.

"Oh, aye. Quite a lot of it. Not all of it's good eatin' for the livestock, though. You have to know how to mind the shit all mixed in."

Finished, she goes back to milking the cow without so much as looking his way.

[mnt_raph]

Well, if he had any question as to whether or not she's still pissed at him, that pretty much answered it.

Raph really wants to retort. SO VERY MUCH wants to retort. Doesn't she see how hard this is on him?! Can't she just once, just this one time, cut him some slack for his colloquialisms? Cripes, it's like being in an argument with Donnie.

He takes a breath, and mentally skips down to the next item on his list.

"Do you got a minute? To talk. I got somethin' I wanna say."

[becareful_boyo]

"Do you now?"

Color flares high on Abigail's cheekbones. She stares at the udder in her hand and carefully unwraps her fingers.

"Mayhap I do, as well. But you go right ahead, Boy-o, as I know it's hard for you to get your tongue untangled."

Her tone isn't unkind, not really, but she does look a bit as if she's struggling with the urge to turn the milk bucket over his head.

[mnt_raph]

To be told, he's kind of expecting that very action to have happened by now. Which is why he has to pause for a second to skip down another item on his list.

"I'm sorry."

There, that should do it right?

[becareful_boyo]

That depends entirely on what he wants to accomplish.

It certainly serves to astonish her, at any rate.




He doesn't think... No. Even her Raph couldn't be that thick.

"For?"

It's as sharp as the katana he'd loaned her.

[mnt_raph]

"Bein' an inconsiderate blockhead. For not sayin' goodbye. An' for not involvin' you in my plannin'."

He's practiced this bit a lot.

[becareful_boyo]

Slowly, Abigail pushes her skirts back and stands, lifting her eyes to his. Her expression remains stony. It might be termed wary, if wary was backed up by frustrated, annoyed and irate.

"Someone help you with that, then?" she asks quietly.

The first she believes he'd say, no doubt about it. The middle and the last? Not so much. The man is many things, most of them good, but astute is not one. If he hadn't figured out why she was upset by the time she threw the pork shoulder at him -- and he hadn't, judging by his bewildered surprise -- then no additional thinking was going to light that candle for him.

[mnt_raph]

That bewildered expression of his makes a return appearance, as Raph is kind of taken aback by the question. It was not, you see, part of his plan.

NO! screams an internal voice.
YES! screams another.

"....maybe."

[becareful_boyo]

"Maybe."

Oh, there's that look. That dangerous glint in her eyes that suggests she's found something new to be mad about, and that maybe it would be wise to be elsewhere as quickly as possible.




Remarkably, she doesn't move. Nor does the bucket.

"Even now you won't do me the favor of speakin' the truth? Tellin' me what I might need to know? That's a shame, then. That's a shame."

[mnt_raph]

If you thought he looked confused before, that's nothing compared to the expression currently setting up camp across his face.

"What do you mean, not tellin' the truth. I ain't lyin'! So I had a talk with Alanna, so what?"

[becareful_boyo]

"There are different types of lies, Boy-o," she says, voice low and full of steel. "Bein' told what you did wrong and that you should apologize doesn't mean it's meant, not if that confusion's still ridin' you."

It's written all over his face.

She wallks toward the rear of the barn, then past him to the door before turning back around and addressing him again.

"You've no idea, do you? All our time together, all we've shared, I never asked for anythin' but respect. I'm proud enough and smart enough to know what I'm due. And here was your brother! Come t'find you about your other brother's time, and you left without a word." She throws her hands up, then lets them fall to her sides where one twists in her skirt. "Never once did you make me feel like I was less. Never once did you make me feel like I was just anythin'. But that day I could've been any tavern girl you'd decided to tumble that night for all the thought ye showed me. That's my truth. Now mayhap you should go ask the Lioness about what to do with that."

[mnt_raph]

His mouth opens and closes like a fish trying to find water to breathe where there is none. His hands hands come down to his side, curling into fists, much to the dismay of the lilly.

"You ain't less! I never meant for you to feel less! You're the most important person in my life, it's just...family's different!"

[becareful_boyo]

"Different?"

Her eyes narrow further.

"I believe you. I believe it wasn't meant. You'd have to think too hard first, and that seems as likely as my hair up and movin' to your foolish, thick head!"

[mnt_raph]

He rolls his eyes. Why's it always got to be 'bout the hair?
The problem with Raph is that he doesn't really roll with confusion all that well. Even after all this time, after all he's seen and done, it's not an emotion he understands...which is why it so quickly transforms into anger.

"Fine. I'm stupid. Great. Does that mean we're over this now?"

[becareful_boyo]

A sharp burst of humorless laughter escapes Abigail's lips.

"You say that, but it's anger talkin'. And if I really thought you stupid, Raph, would we be havin' this fight? I've no love for fools."

Just for a man who sometimes acts like one.

"Oh no. It's not simple like that. Not even close."

[mnt_raph]

"Then what?!" he says, his voice louder than he's intended it to be. "What am I supposed to do?! What do you want from me? I love you. I said I'm sorry. What the hell else is there?"

[becareful_boyo]

A number of possible replies cross Abigail's mind, some more insistent and angry than others. The first, don't be tellin' me, SHOW me you great big dolt is too close to the hurt. The next, the Lioness' noble self tell you yellin' your apology at me was a good plan? is dismissed as too bitter.

But that bitterness and hurt shows in her eyes if Raph takes the time to look.

What do you want from me?

Love, trust, companionship. Honesty. But can he give it the way she deserves? Abigail isn't so sure anymore. She knows there's more he isn't telling her. She's all too aware -- even if he's not -- that they haven't addressed his obvious reluctance to take her with him to his precious Milliways. Family is different, he'd said. So where does that leave them?

Her lips thin into a nearly straight line before she says "That's for you to be figurin' out" and storms off -- for once without throwing anything at his head.

[mnt_raph]

Baseline Raph would be all to quick to pick up the hurt through the bitterness, but this Raph, our Raph, is too clouded with confusion and rage to see what's right there in front of him.

Until it suddenly isn't.
For a moment he does nothing but watch her go, but that moment doesn't last long. And Raph, being both Shang and Ninja, moves faster than most. In no time at all he's cutting her off at the pass, standing between her and the direction she was heading.

"If I can't walk out without sayin' goodbye, then you can't either. We're settlin' this. Now."

[becareful_boyo]

"Oh, is that so, Boy-o? Fine, then. Say what you're wishin' to say, or I'll hand you my goodbye."

Abigail folds her arms across her chest and glares at him.

Then, when he doesn't immediately say anything, she has an abrupt change of plan.

"THOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMAS!"

[mnt_raph]

Thomas? a voice in the back of his mind asks. What the hell is she callin' him for?

"Mithros, I said it all already! I'm sorry. I love you. I didn't mean for it to happen. My brother was pregnant, for cryin' out loud! That ain't somethin' you just...plan for! I had to go, an' you couldn't come! An' I'm sorry for that too!"

[becareful_boyo]

"Aye, you didn't mean it, and I'm sure you won't mean it the next time!" she shouts back. "That's an excuse I hope you don't intend on usin' the rest of your life, because it's comin' up on the end of its days!"

Beat.

"I couldn't come. Of course I couldn't. YOU NEVER ASKED!"

[mnt_raph]

"I didn't ask because YOU CAN'T GO!"

He doesn't say that he won't let her, but then again...given his tone, he really shouldn't have to.

[agoodmusekickin.livejournal.com]

Thomas heard the raised voiced long before his name got dragged into it, and normally he'd just go on ignoring the spat, but there's something off about Abigail's tone.

And while he doesn't think Raph would ever actually lay a hand on his sister, he's felt first hand what the Shang is capable of. This is why he takes the gifted sword from behind the bar out with him to the yard.

"Oi! What's all this then? Why don't we take a step back so that cooler heads can prevail."

Which is a hell of a thing to say when you enter a fight armed, but Thomas is hoping the sight of the sword will remind Raph more of his promise to them than of an attack on his person.

[becareful_boyo]

Abigail wastes no time stepping back beside Thomas -- mindful of the sword, of course. She loves her brother, but he's no knight.

"That so."

Beat.


"Family is different," she reminds Raph. "Well, mayhap you'll just have to be dealin' with mine for now."

[mnt_raph]

Seriously? Thomas is seriously attempting to threaten Raph with his own sword? Stupid, stupid boy.

"This ain't got nothin' to do with you, Thomas. Lower the sword an' go back inside before you get hurt."

The growl is aimed at Thomas, but Raph hasn't taken his eyes off Abigail.

Get hurt.
Hurt yourself.
Same difference ...right?

[agoodmusekickin.livejournal.com]

Thomas shifts the sword from a defensive to an offensive position.

"Not going to happen, Raph."

[becareful_boyo]

It has to do with family, though, doesn't it?

Stubborn to her core, Abigail lifts her chin and gives Raph a withering look, feet planted in the soft dirt by their door. She won't desert Thomas, and the message couldn't be more obvious: It's time you cleared out for a while.

"You've got some thinkin' to do. Best get started somewhere you won't be distracted. When you can understand why I'm unhappy without shoutin' at me about how I should be done bein' angry about it, and say you're sorry without actin' all frustrated, you know I'll have an ale waitin'."

There. That's as much of a concession as he's going to get right now.

[mnt_raph]

So that's it then, huh? That's how this is going to play out? Fine. Just fine.

Of course, before Raph can get to Fine he has to pass the potential for violence first. And for what feels to him like a long time it almost seems as if that were some unsurmountable act.

It would be so easy. Just a few simple motions and Thomas is disarmed, on the ground, and potentially in a lot of pain. But no...no. That will. Not. Help.

He tells this to himself over and over. That. Will. Not. Help. His jaw clenches tightly, and his nostrils flair as he exhale the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding.

Without breaking eye contact, Raph throws down the flower as if it were one of his smokebombs, reaches into the neckline of his Tortall Appropriate shirt, and retrieves his Security badge. He's knows it's wrong to bring a door here right now, but right this second he doesn't care. Right this second he wants to hurt her just as much as he's being hurt.

Right this second he's all for seeing her stubborn, calling her bluff, and raising.

And then...nothing happens, at least nothing that Thomas and Abigail can see. The door only appears after Raph has given them a very curt ceremonial bow and put his hand on the knob. And even then it's just the door. When opened there's nothing behind, and yet the moment he crosses the threshold both he and the door are gone. All without so much as a sound, save for the lingering impression of chatter somewhere off in the distance.

[becareful_boyo]

All this time.

All this time he could do that?

Abigail takes a deep, shuddering breath and stares at the spot formerly occupied by Raph.

I love you too, you inconsiderate blockhead.

Mustering some small measure of nonchalance, Abigail swoops down on the flower and clutches it tightly, further crushing its stem. The look she gives Thomas asks -- no, demands -- that there be no questions just yet.

"Those layabouts inside aren't going to feed themselves, are they?" she snaps, lifting her chin as she stalks inside.

[agoodmusekickin.livejournal.com]

Thomas is, for lack of a better term, gobsmacked.
Of all the things Thomas was expecting to happen after taking his Raph's sword and using it to defend Abigail, Raph disappearing into an equally disappearing door was certainly not on the list. Bleeding to death in the dirt was second to arriving in time to watch the two lovebirds make up, but the thing with the door? Kind of blindsided him.

This is why he has not a word to say as his sister turns to him before retreating back into the house. It's only after he hears the latch of the back door click shut that he manages to find words, and they're stolen from the man who just made the most amazing exit Thomas has ever seen.

"Fucking hell."