The more things change...

[mnt_raph]

It's a mild night, all things considered. The weather is as even keeled as the Scotland of the Wizarding world is this time of year, and Raph is glad for it. He's glad for the partly cloudy skies, and the chill-yet-not-cold air that breezes past him...and the wounds newly opened on his knuckles.

Yes, he truly wouldn't be Raph if he metabolized his rage using completely healthy means. And there are fewer things less healthy for knuckles than being used to punch brick walls.

They tend to be unforgiving, brick walls.

Kind of like some blondes he knows, Raph muses to himself with a dry chuckle.

"'Least with walls you know where you stand," he says to no one in particular, before lifting the pilfered bottle of Jack to his lips and downing a sizable gulp. He wipes the corner of his mouth with the part of his free hand that isn't currently bleeding, and gives his surroundings a good once over.

It's been a long time since he's been up on this roof. His roof. Even longer since he's sat, legs dangling over the edge, with a bottle of his favorite spirit close at hand.

"fuck."

Comments

[mnt_raph]

"I might'a been tryin' to keep her from walkin' out on me at the time..."

But the fact remains, Yes. Thomas.

[the_lioness]

"Goddess."

She takes another drink; hands the bottle back.

"Did she say she needed time?" Alanna suddenly asks. "Because when a woman says she needs time, give it to her."

[mnt_raph]

Raph accepts the bottle with a nod.

"No. But apparently I do. To think 'bout what I've done, an' not come to her with scripts from you."

Oh, yeah, did he fail to mention that Alanna's kind of in the doghouse too? Whoops?

[the_lioness]

She looks insulted.

"I did not tell you what to say. Just to say it."

Beat.

"Also possibly how not to say it, but I'm unclear on whether that took."

[mnt_raph]

Raph turns his attention back to the horizon.
"That ain't how she sees it."

He sighs.

"Said I made her feel like some one-night stand. Leavin' the way I did."

[the_lioness]

Alanna winces. She hadn't really thought Abigail would feel that strongly about it.

This is bad.



"At least you've got Cloud. Horses... they don't mind if you forget to say goodbye." She inhales sharply. "I do say goodbye, of course. Always. You don't want to upset the animal carrying around you and your many pounds of armor."

She blinks: Where had that come from?

"What I mean," she says in a measured tone, "is that this will pass. Abigail will come around."

She hopes.

[mnt_raph]

It doesn't matter where the bit about the horse came from, because Raph is momentarily distracted by the shiny of his own stream of consciousness.

"Which ain't no where near the truth. She's the first girl I been with since Her."

The sentiment would probably be far more solemn had it not been punctuated with a hiccup.

[the_lioness]

"I know."

Alanna chews on her lip for a moment.


"Do you love her more than Her?"

Wait.

"The other Her." And again. "Do you love her enough, Raph?"

[mnt_raph]

He doesn't say anything for a good long while. This is partly because of the haze from the alcohol, and partly because he's not sure of how to word the answer.

The answer itself is easy, it's the words that keep getting in the way.

"'S a totally different thing, isn't it? I mean...loving Her is like...like..."
His attention turns towards the horizon again, where the sun is beginning its retreat under the lake.

With bottle in hand he gestures towards the setting sun.

"Loving Her is like loving a sunset. It's there, it's beautiful, and if you stare at it too long, or in the wrong way, you go blind. She ain't a person, She's a force of nature. An' She don't love no one any more than anyone else.

'S a different thing."

Suddenly thirsty from all his gabbing, Raph takes another pull from his bottle, momentarily forgetting that it's whiskey and not water.

[the_lioness]

Alanna makes a face.

"Mithros, you're doomed," she announces, though not without sympathy.

[mnt_raph]

His brow furrows.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

[the_lioness]

Exactly what it sounds like, says her expression.

"I asked you a question about Abigail," Alanna explains with more patience than she feels, because this is family, "and all you spoke of was Death."

She raises her eyebrows at him over the cider bottle and takes a drink.

[mnt_raph]

From furrow to scowl in no time flat.

"I was sayin' it was different is all," he sneers. Or well, he tries to at any rate. "Long as I'm breathin' I'm gonna love Death. Ain't nothin' can be done 'bout that."

He pulls a slight face. He can count the number of times he's used her name since she left him on one hand.

"Abigail's different. She...makes me feel lighter, you know? Calms me."

[the_lioness]

"Quite poetically, too," Alanna adds helpfully while Raph's confusion shifts to anger.

It doesn't faze her.

Holding up a finger again, she shakes her head once and meets his eyes like she has something very important to say.

If she can remember what it is.





"That's my point." Beat. "Do you think Abigail doesn't know that? She knows. Trust me. I thought it was just Milliways and your former shell standing there between you like great big... big... kraken monsters... but I forgot about Her. If Adam had been that much in love with someone else, no matter how calm I made him," she pauses to indulge in a good laugh, "I'd have known. And I'm not sure my pride would have allowed me to stay."

[mnt_raph]

"You think?"
But before Raph can even himself think about this, he dismisses it out of hand. "No, that ain't it. That ain't...nothin'. We ain't even talked 'bout Her. An' an'...your Dark God whatever came to me in a dream an' tol' me to get over it. An' I did. I'm over it.

Done."

Of course while he says, done, his expression gives an entirely different impression. Let the backpedaling and rationalization begin!

"I...I don't even think o' Her none anymore. You know, unless I'm killin' somethin'. Don't even dream o' Her no more either. An' She don't want nothin' to do with me. That's made clear enough by the fact that she didn't even take me from St. Mungo's."

[the_lioness]

"Done," Alanna repeats, radiating skepticism. "You are talking about Her an awful lot for someone you don't ever think about."

She places a great deal of emphasis on awful. Alanna had respect for Death, naturally, and they got on well enough, but she hates hearing Raph talk this way with that look in his eyes. Again.

Sighing, she shoves her bottle at him and snaps her fingers in front of his face.

"I understand, Raph. I do. I just think you ain't even talking about a lot with Abigail that you probably should. And I think she'd agree."

You know. Once she got over being mad at Alanna for interfering.

"You can make it right, but first you're going to have to decide what's most important to you now and what's not."

[mnt_raph]

"This one time!" exasperation overtaking his tone more than anything. He looks to the bottle of Jack. Not much left, he downs what there is before hucking the bottle towards the lake as far as he can.

"There ain't no comparison between a livin', flesh, an' blood woman who loves me beyond all else, an' who puts up with crap most o' the time, an' who I was more'n happy to settle down with before the damn door showed back up, an' some personification of an idea that didn't even think me worthy enough to die during the worst point in my life!"

Having said that, he flops backwards onto the tar paper roof with a huff.

"I'll drink it. Does she want that?! Because I'll do it. For her I'll do it. But only for her. An' only if she asks."

[the_lioness]

The bottle travels far but on a slightly right hand trajectory, exploding against the ground near a well-worn path leading to the stables. Alanna frowns, making a mental note to clean that up later.

"No, there isn't, and I'm glad you can still remember that."

She turns, eyes roaming along his torso to his face. Slowly.





"Drink what?"


The cider? And is he talking about her or Her now? This is getting confusing.

[mnt_raph]

Raph stares up at the stars which begin to swim ever so slightly.

"Less. Lithe." His face screws up in thought as he tries to remember the woman's name. "Water from some river that makes you forget stuff. Bar's been holdin' a bottle of it for me for ages.

For Abs I'd drink it. Forget everything, just...never forget."

[the_lioness]

Silence.




Alanna rolls her eyes. "Oh, Raph. You idiot." It's affectionate. "If you put it to Abigail like that, any of it, you'd be cozied up with her now instead of hiding on the roof with me." A small smile. "I doubt she'd ask you to forget anything, because no, but the offer... that's another thing entirely."

Suddenly she flops back beside him.



"I feel like someone just knocked me over," she grumbles.

[mnt_raph]

"tha's jus' gravity," he says with a yawn that ends in a small smile.

Raph rolls his head to one side so he can look at Alanna. "ain't hidin'. tactical retreat."

[the_lioness]

"Ah."

Tactics are important. Like gravity.

"What'd she threaten to hit you with first?" Alanna asks, wisely.

[mnt_raph]

"firs' first? or like, this time firs'?" Leave it to Raph to consider such things a form of foreplay.

[the_lioness]

"This time." She eyes him. "Or maybe I should ask why you're hid... why you retreated. Tactically speaking."



Alanna grins and gropes around for the cider bottle.

[mnt_raph]

"she tol' me to. an' i didn't think killin' her brother'd do me much good in winnin' her to my way o' thinkin'. so here, an' drinkin'...."

He brings his hands up to place under his head. A move that would have been more successful had he not hit the bottle in the process.