[HP AU]

[mnt_raph]

"An' you're sure this is the right address?" Raph asks again, for what Mike thinks might be the millionth time.

"Yes, I'm sure Raph. For like the millionth times. I told you," the smaller boy says sighing. "I read the map. I followed Donnie's instructions to the letter. Just...be still, look tough, and try not talk so much. Your accent kind of a dead give away that we're tourists, okay?"

"Bite me, Mikey."

"You'd probably like that too much," he says with a waggle of his eyebrows as he presses the doorbell of the Montoya's East London home.

Comments

[mnt_mike]

"Everyone has friends," Mike says quickly. "Ma'am, we just want to say hello. We're just in town for the day and then we're leaving. We promise we're not going to be any trouble."

Right Raph? says his expression.

Raph sighs.

"Promise."

[interrogoiterum]

Holding the door half closed with her spoon hand, she narrows her eyes at them and crosses herself with her other hand.

"I know what you are," she hisses. "You are not welcome here."

[mnt_raph]

"Ain't the first time we've heard that, Ma'am," Raph says easily. "Ain't likely to be the last neither."

"What my brother's trying to say here, in the rudest and most inflammatory way possible, is that we understand your reservations and have no intention what so ever of putting you out anymore than we already have."

[interrogoiterum]

"Get out of here," she repeats. "Before I call the police. And the priest!"

In a raised voice that's nearly a screech: "Get out!"

And the door slams hard.

[mnt_mike]

Mike's head droops forward, and his shoulders slump as he sighs.

Raph, seems rather unphased by the reaction, turns and plops himself down on the stoop. He reaches into his pocket and retrieves a package of cigarettes and prepares to smoke.

"Well...that could have gone...worse I guess. I mean, she didn't light us on fire. SO that's a positive thing, right?"

"Oh yeah, real positive. We're scalin' the side of the house, ain't we?"

"It's an option," Mike says turning towards the street. "You really have no shame, do you Raph?"

"Heh, like you're one to talk."

"I'm not the one lighting up on the front steps of the house of a woman who just threatened to sick a priest on us."

"I've had priests set on me before. Gets old real quick." Once his cigarette is lit Raph stands and walks towards the sidewalk. "Shall we?"

Mike gives the front door one final look, and sighs again.
"Yeah. I really thought the front door approach would work," he can be heard saying as he follows his brother away from the house.

[interrogoiterum]

Even with the door closed, the shout can be heard from outside.

"RENEE!"

The first floor window - the only one facing the street - opens and Renee's head appears.

She holds two fingers up at them both, then disappears again.

[mnt_raph]

"Well that's 'cause you're a..." but Raph's remark is cut short by the yelling from inside the house. He turns on a time, because if it even so much as sounds like someone's getting a hand raised at them, he'll be in that house so quickly everyone's heads will spin.

He's surprised to see Renee poke her head out the window.

"Did she just flip us off?"

"I think that means wait a couple, not go fuck yourselves. Though...I've been wrong in the past," Mike says with a smirk. "Not often, but I have been wrong."

[interrogoiterum]

One second later, And it's not just her head that appears. Renee throws herself out of the window broomstick first, leaving more screams behind her.

There are tears in her eyes.

"This better be good," she says, jumping off beside them, into a run down the street.

[mnt_mike]

"So now would not be the time to tell you we're just in town for the weekend and were stopping by to say hello? Good to know."

Mike gets smacked up the side of his head for good measure.

"Ya'right kid?" he asks, keeping his eyes trained on the house even as they move further away from it.

[interrogoiterum]

"No."

But she's talking about it, so that's probably better than if she'd said yes.

Around the corner, she leans her broomstick against a wall and stops to tighten the laces of the shoes that she'd just thrown on.

"I'm not alright. I'm in for another screed about how I'm going to Hell, assuming they even let me back in after that."

She shakes her head as she stands, pushes her hair out of her eyes and looks from Raph to Mike and back.

"Tell me you weren't 'just in town?'"

[mnt_mike]

Mike looks to Raph, who nods slowly...all the while not taking his eyes off Renee's house.

"We're not just in town," says Mikes reaching into an internal pocket of his coat and retrieving a set of travel credentials. Travel credential, it's important to note, that are brilliantly forged.

Everything about this screams practice run.

[interrogoiterum]

Renee glances at the papers, and shakes her head.

"I am going to curse the crap out of you if I get back to school."

If.

She turns to walk further down the street, and stops. Looks at Raph.

"Hey, Spleen-Weasel."

[mnt_raph]

He smirks, but keeps watching the house. Whether that smirk is caused by her angry tone, or choice of insult, is unclear.

"Yeah, what?"

[interrogoiterum]

"What the hell are you looking at? The door's not going to open again, you know. Let's go."

She doesn't really want to be hanging around here when she has the whole East End to get lost in.

[mnt_mike]

"Oh I'm not expectin' it to open," he says with a grin that is positively evil.

"He's planning on the best way to kick it down," Mike chimes in as he slips his arm around Renee's waist, in an attempt to pull her down the street.

[interrogoiterum]

Renee is pretty damn hard to budge when she doesn't want to be. She carefully uncurls Mike's arm from around her waist.

"Here, hold this." Her broomstick.

"Alright, biscuit brain," to Raph, while pushing her right sleeve back. "Look over here."

[mnt_raph]

"...oh boy," Mike sighs taking the broom.

Grudgingly, Raph obliges her.
"What?"

[interrogoiterum]

The second he's facing her, Renee lets loos with a right hook to his cheek.

It's one of her many ways of getting Raph to pay attention to her.

[mnt_mike]

When Mike later tells the story, he'll remark about how it sounded almost as if someone had thrown an apple at a brick wall.

The force of the punch, which he takes by the way, is enough to make him take a step back.

"What the fuck was that for?" he manages after a second to regroup.

[interrogoiterum]

"Saves time, doesn't it?" She says, rubbing her knuckles. "Now you don't need to go over there and get me into any more trouble, because I've already hit you and we can have this out now if you want."

She's up for that. She is not up for him making it worse with her mother.

Of course, that's when a group of kids turn the corner up the road.

"...Renee?"

One of them is a boy a couple of years younger than them, and is striding towards them right now.

[mnt_raph]

Mike, who had been chuckling at Raph's expense...because really, it's not like Renee didn't have a point...goes wide-eyed at the approach of the other kids. He's already shaking his wand down from where he stows it up his sleeve so as to place a concealment charm on the broom he's holding.

Which now...for some reason looks like an overly large umbrella.

Raph has a few more choice words for what he thinks of Renee's cut to the chase, but they die on his lips as the strangers approach.

[interrogoiterum]

The look on Renee's face tells Raph this isn't over before she looks over and turns towards the boy.

Who from appearances alone cannot be anyone other than her brother.

The rest of the group - two boys and two girls, stay where he left them, watching the conversation. At least one of the boys looks like he hopes this is going to turn nasty.

"Hi, Ben," says Renee.

Ben looks at Mike and Raph, "are you okay?" he asks his sister.

"Yeah, this is Raph and Mike. They're friends of mine."

She drops her sore hand and takes Mike's in her own.

[mnt_mike]

"Ben Ben?" Mike asks raising an eyebrow in Renee's direction. As if making a show of just putting two and two together. "I thought you said he was little!"

Because once again, Mike is damn near the shortest person here. It's just so unfair.

Raph's heard stories about Ben, not many but enough to warrant giving the kid a once over. Then...because it's Raph, he also has to size up the people traveling with Ben, just in case.

Including the...wow. That...that blonde girl. She's kind of cute. Raph suddenly forgets that half his face hurts like hell, because Renee punches like a mule kicks, and instead runs a hand through his hair.

[interrogoiterum]

"He was little at Christmas," is Renee's excuse.

Ben looks at the hand holding, and up at Renee, and doesn't even notice Raph making eyes at his friend.

"Are they friends from school?" he asks Renee.

"Yeah. they showed up at home."

"Oh."

Ben's face tightens with worry, then he nods.

"I'll go smooth things over with her, 'kay? I'll text you when it's safe to come home."

[mnt_raph]

Mike gives Renee's hand a reassuring squeeze before he lets go and takes a step towards Ben.

"We really didn't expect to be in town today, and probably should have called first, but I'm kind of crap with phones. Not exactly the best introduction, I'll admit, but...I'm Mike, and it's really nice to finally get to put a face to the name," he holds out his hand to Ben.

"There's a whole shiny dollar in it for you if you can impress upon your mother that Raph and I can become estranged at any time...if that helps."

"Hey!" comes Raph's reply. He's just about to try and smack his little brother upside the head for that, but Renee's in the way, and she's already hit him once today.