[OOM: The Roof]

[mnt_raph]

*The world is ending. And honestly, the way Raph is feeling right now, he doesn't care. If it could end just a little bit quieter though, he'd be a much happier ex-turtle.

Even the little light that bleeds through the shades is too much, so Raph attempts to bury himself under a pillow.

Hangovers, ain't they a bitch*

Comments

[mnt_donnie]

It would be a shame to have a terrible hangover and someone knocking politely on your tent door. Politely, but loudly.

"Raph? Are you in there?"

[mnt_raph]

muthafuck NO!

*Comes the ever convincing reply.
Didn't he have traps up there to keep this sort of thing from happening....wait...was that Donnie's voice?*

[mnt_donnie]

Ninja brothers are irritatingly good at avoiding traps.

"Raph? I'm coming in, the door's open."

Well, it is now at least.

[mnt_raph]

*Yes. Yes they are.
Raph grumbles incoherently in the terminal gloom of the room.
Maybe he can quietly burrow under his mattress. Yes, that's it. If he just becomes one with the bed then Donnie will have to go anywhere other than here.*

[mnt_donnie]

Donnie, while admiring Raph's efforts to achieve bedvana, has no real compunction in interrupting them.

"Are you feeling all right? You look kinda... green."

Donnie peers more closely at him.

"You really do. Has this happened before? Do the spells allow some of your natural coloring through when you're ill? Maybe their ability to maintain your human morphic field is damaged when your body is similarly damaged, or perhaps their energy is diverted to dealing with the damage and away from maintenance of the more cosmetic alterations such as pigmentation?"

It's a fascinating problem. At least for Donatello.

[mnt_raph]

ain't got nothin' to do with morphi-whats...'m hungover you twit.

*Raph attempts to heave his alarmclock at his brother, you know...for emphasis.*

[mnt_donnie]

Donnie, looking somewhat disappointed at Raph's explanation, catches it neatly.

"Oh. Well, have patience. In time-"

He sets down the alarm clock and manages to avoid chuckling too much at his own pun.

"-this too shall pass."

[mnt_raph]

easy for you to say, you ain't got no freight train' rollin' through you're frickin' skull.

*Raph pulls the pillow over his head and screams.
Which amazingly enough does not help his headache any.
Funny, and that seemed like such a good idea at the time.*

[mnt_donnie]

Donnie blinks.

"I'm not sure that's the most effective method of curing a hangover, although I'm intrigued by the thought of using primal scream therapy. Still, I think you'd be much better off with fluids to restore your electolyte balance and vitamins to help your nervous system restablize."

In Don-speak, this means 'I'm going to get you a bottle of water and a Flintstones chewable.'

[mnt_raph]

i don't need crap. i gotta six pack inna fridge an' aspirin in the freakin' bathroom.

...

just ain't gotten that far yet.
that's all.

*Because he's a big boy who doesn't need help from anyone.*

[mnt_donnie]

Of course he is. This is why Donnie nods, and promptly goes over to the kitchen, into the bathroom, and then returns with a tall glass of water and a bottle of aspirin.

"Here you go. I wouldn't advise alcohol, as there's no evidence to support its ability to ease hangover symptoms other than the purely anecdotal. Aspirin and water are your best bet."

[mnt_raph]

I'll show you purely anecdotal.

*He sneers as he takes the water and aspirin. There might be an added part about Raph not needing a mother and how he's doing just fine on his own thankyouverymuch, but it might be drowned out by the drinking of the water. Just as well, really.*

[mnt_donnie]

It really is, because Donnie is not above patting his brother on the head.

"So. What brought on this pretty impressive hangover, if you don't mind saying?"

[mnt_raph]

*Raph attempts to shake the aspirin out of the bottle as quietly as ex-turtley possible.*

let a kitsune mix my drinks.

[mnt_donnie]

"Ohhh."

Donnie nods sagely.

"I didn't even know they had kitsunes employed downstairs. Generally I prefer to only accept beverages directly from Bar. I'm sure most of the bartenders are very trustworthy, but that does include Mike, and so I'm just not sure."

[mnt_raph]

They uh...they don't, actually. Ako was kinda workin' this party for Lilly that I was doin' doorman stuff for.

*He pops the pills.*

Shouldn'a never told her to make me a strong drink...

[mnt_donnie]

"From the looks of you, probably not," Donnie agrees. "I didn't even know there was a party."

Spending your time in a sewer lair or a post-apocalyptic garage is not really the best way to get invited places.

"And I don't even know who Lilly is. Maybe I should spend some more time in the bar."

He looks a little surprised at the words that have just come out of his mouth.

[mnt_raph]

*Don is not alone in his surprise.*

You sure 'bout that?

[mnt_donnie]

"Well," Donnie says, a little defensively, "it might help my research. The bar does bring in a collection of people from around the multiverse, I'm sure there are scientists among them."

Yes, it's all about the science. Nothing to do with missing his brothers.

[mnt_raph]

*Raph continues to eye his brother. An egghead convention. Great.*

You blow up the bar with one of your experiments, an' we're gonna have problems, Donnie.

[mnt_donnie]

"My experiments are carefully conducted in controlled laboratory settings, and there is no danger of them 'blowing up' or causing any other problems as long as those standards are maintained," Donnie replies with dignity.

"After all, it's not my fault that Mike thought that my study of how much the sewer vapors accelerated bacterial growth on one of our dietary staples was a slice of leftover blue cheese pizza."

[mnt_raph]

*Oh yeah, he needed to be reminded of that right this second. Thanks Don. That's a whole heaping bunch.
His shoulder twitch as he fights back the dry heave.*

Ugh. Look the one thing we ain't got round here is control...of anythin'. Jus'...keep that in mind.

[mnt_donnie]

"That's... almost Zen."

Donnie sounds surprised, but happily so.

"Have you been meditating?"

[mnt_raph]

If by that you mean starin' off into space until I fall asleep...then yeah. We got security meetin's every great once in a while.

*That's the same thing, right?*

[mnt_donnie]

Donnie sighs.

"That's not exactly what I meant."

He doesn't push it. Raph's never been much for 'sit still and concentrate' moments in life.

[mnt_raph]

*There are times for sitting still and concentrating, and thankfully there are doors that keep those times as private as possible.

Raph smirks into his water. Sighs of frustation are like mini-wins in the war against...well, not winning. After a long drink which very nearly drains the glass entirely, he shifts his attention to somewhere else in the room.*

thanks, donnie. for the water I mean.

[mnt_donnie]

"You're welcome."

Donnie stands, glancing around Raph's tent.

"I haven't been up here in a while, I'd forgotten how fascinating the magical architecture of this place was. Obviously it's well established that the surface area of an object can be greater than its volume, but I don't think most mathematicians have seen a disparity quite this striking."

He pats Raph absentmindedly on the shoulder.

"You know, this tent could provide the basis for an intriguing study of the magical theoretics affecting the transformation of three-dimensional space. You're a lucky turtle, Raph."

[mnt_raph]

Uh...yeah. Does my laundry too. April fresh an' everythin'.

[mnt_donnie]

"Really?"

Donnie is completely intrigued by now.

"Is there a mechanism for that, or an activation spell of some kind? Do you have to put the clothes in a certain location? Where do the clean ones turn up? Are they folded? Do you have to provide detergent?"

[mnt_raph]

*Facepalm. Why did he open his mouth? Why?*

Anythin' on the ground for a time gets cleaned an' put away. Don't know how it works, just does. So I don't question it.

Like, okay watch.

*Raph downs the rest of his water and then places the now empty glass on the bedside table.*

Ten minutes from now this thing'll be back in the cupboard.

[mnt_donnie]

"Really?"

Donnie settles down in front of the table, eyes fixed intently on the glass.

Guess who's not going anywhere for ten minutes.

[mnt_raph]

*Oh crap. He didn't think of that for some reason. Damn it damnit DAMN IT!

Raph flops back onto his bed, covering his face with the pillow for the third time this morning alone.

Like clockwork, after ten minutes the glass disappears.

[mnt_donnie]

Donnie's wide-eyed at the spot where the glass had been.

"That's amazing! Okay, now this time I'm going to repeat your methodology with a controlled variable in the form of a clean glass and see if there's a time differential in the dematerialization of the clean glass versus the dirty glass."

[mnt_raph]

*Raph, still under his pillow, begins to punch the other side of his bed.*

[mnt_donnie]

Donnie pauses halfway to the kitchen.

"Ah, right. Maybe I could do this another day, when you're feeling better."

There is a last wistful glance at the glasses cupboard before he turns back to the bed.

"Is there anything else you could use while I'm here?"

[mnt_raph]

*The pillow rises and then falls with the motion of a sigh, before a mumbled...*

can you get me a beer?

*works its way through the feathers.*

[mnt_donnie]

"But I already explained how that won't help," Donnie replies, somewhat confused.

"I'll just get you some more water instead."

It takes some internal struggle to stop himself from bringing two glasses back to Raph and setting up his experiment, but he resists nobly.

"There you go."

[mnt_raph]

*Raph emerges from under the pillow, and takes the glass of water. It's not the same as beer, but if he concentrates he can pretend it's shitty beer. Somehow that makes him feel better.*

Thanks, man.

*For the water. For the company. And most importantly, for taking the hint.*