[OOM: Up on the roof]

[mnt_raph]

*Raph had forgotten how much of a pain in the ass the tent was to set up by himself. He'd had Andrew to help with the set up and break down on their trip, and Death was there the last time he needed to put it on the roof.

Death.
He misses her so much.

He wipes at the sweat beading on his forehead, and is greeted in turn by the stinging, burning sensation that comes with having a quickly developing sunburn.*

Great. Just great.

Comments

[mnt_raph]

*He looks back at her. Familar brown eyes in an oh so foreign face. An expression oh so hard to pin down.*

I didn't mean for you to worry.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

"I didn't. Not about normal stuff. Not about anything I wouldn't be worrying about anyway."

She held his gaze, her own eyes calm, true. Not looking for answers, but just for him.

[mnt_raph]

Yeah well, I didn't mean for that either.

*Raph peers back at her, with a calm detatchment.*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

"It's not your fault."

Part of her wants to just linger in the aloof familiarity of it all. Part of her wants to shake him until his teeth rattle, just to ellict some emotion.

"It's mine."

[mnt_raph]

There doesn't have to be fault or blame. It just...it's fine. Really.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

Quietly, yet not turning her gaze, "No, it's not."

It's pretty fucking far from fine, actually.

[mnt_raph]

*His head slumps forward. Forehead resting on her shoulder.
He sighs.*

there ain't no way to breeze past this, is there?

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April leaned her head gently against his, breathing warm across his temple.

"No," she answered, voice meek and almost inaudible.

[mnt_raph]

april...i can't. it ain't....it ain't right.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April's eyes fell closed, a long, low sigh escaping her lips. In the back of her mind, she wondered why this hurt so much. She turned her head away, swallowing hard.

"I shouldn't have come."

Well, at least they agreed on that, now.

[mnt_raph]

*He's silent for far too long.*

what is it you want from me?

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

To know if you think I'm crazy.
To know if you feel something, too.
To hold me.
To keep me safe, like always.

"I don't know."

[mnt_raph]

*He raises his head again, and begins the slow process of pulling away from the hug.

His home is in shambles, and he'd rather not be killed by all the symbolism*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April let him go, her face still turned away, reflected pale in low light. Somehow, without even knowing it, she had ruined everything, and she knew it.

She took several steps back towards the ladder and then paused, Penny's words echoing in her mind. When she spoke, it was just loud enough to be heard, her back to him.

"I didn't mean to love you. Not like this. But I do." She hesitated and then turned to look back over her shoulder at him, painted in shadows and starlight. "I forgive you, Raphael. Goodbye." She turned away again and moved quietly the remaining distance to the ladder.

One foot in front of the other, April. Just keep breathing.

[mnt_raph]

NO!

*His voice is harsh, and both his hands as well as his teeth are clenched.*

Take. It. Back.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April stilled, one foot against the top rung of the ladder, and looked back to him, her face set, unreadable.

"No."

She didn't even know which part he meant. Didn't matter.

[mnt_raph]

I don't deserve it.
Take it back.

*His voice is more like a growl than anything else. His posture more old than new.*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April pulled her foot back up onto the roof and stood, resolute.

"No."

She wasn't afraid.

[mnt_raph]

But I don't want it...

*His resolve is beginning to break, and his anger right along with it.*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

"We don't always get what we want." Did she ever know about that just then.

[mnt_raph]

please.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

"Can't. It's all part and partial to the whole 'being in love with someone' deal."

[mnt_raph]

you're not in love with me, you're in somethin' with this.

*He gestures towards himself.*

an' i don't deserve your forgiveness, so take it back. please take it back. please. don't make him right about me.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

In a flash, April had crossed to him and smacked him against the cheek. It wasn't like before; it was controlled, but just barely.

"Where the fuck do you get off, you bastard?!" she fumed, eyes flashing. "You think I'm that superficial, do you?? You think I don't know myself? Well, fuck you, Raphael. Fuck you for-" She stopped, her voice catching in her throat and she shook her head.

"You have never said anything more hurtful. Ever."

[mnt_raph]

*Just like before, Raph takes the hit. His face turning away with the force of the blow.

He's quiet for a long time.*

not superficial. just human.

*Raph understands how this works, or at least he thinks he does. How someone can go from friend to more with the help of a spell. That's how this has all worked for him. Feelings that were never there before, never dreamed up, are now felt with full force.
To be human, is to easily fall prey to such things.*