[OOM: Up on the roof]

[mnt_raph]

*Raph had forgotten how much of a pain in the ass the tent was to set up by himself. He'd had Andrew to help with the set up and break down on their trip, and Death was there the last time he needed to put it on the roof.

Death.
He misses her so much.

He wipes at the sweat beading on his forehead, and is greeted in turn by the stinging, burning sensation that comes with having a quickly developing sunburn.*

Great. Just great.

Comments

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

"Missed you," she whispered.

[mnt_raph]

Had to get away. Got too cramped here.

*Which is a funny thing to say when you're standing on the roof of the only building besides a lake of indeterminate size.*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

"I know. Didn't expect you back so soon." She hesitated, nuzzling against his neck a bit, just breathing in the scent of him. "Thanks for the note."

[mnt_raph]

It was Large's idea.

*He feels her move closer, and freezes.*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April winced, her breath catching in her throat.

Everything's wrong, I've ruined everything, it will never be the same again, I just want to love you.

The last thought made her go still as well, echoing in her mind like some great proclaimation issued from on high.

She'd not known, not really, not until that moment. Her fingers curled in against the fabric of his shirt, searching for something tangible, something real.

"Don't."

[mnt_raph]

I'm not doin' nothin'.

*Raph has no idea what to say or do, and most worrisome to him, no idea what will happen next.*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

"I know." She turned her face up to his, looking at him in the eyes for the first time since It, her heart thrumming fast against her ribcage.

[mnt_raph]

*He looks back at her. Familar brown eyes in an oh so foreign face. An expression oh so hard to pin down.*

I didn't mean for you to worry.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

"I didn't. Not about normal stuff. Not about anything I wouldn't be worrying about anyway."

She held his gaze, her own eyes calm, true. Not looking for answers, but just for him.

[mnt_raph]

Yeah well, I didn't mean for that either.

*Raph peers back at her, with a calm detatchment.*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

"It's not your fault."

Part of her wants to just linger in the aloof familiarity of it all. Part of her wants to shake him until his teeth rattle, just to ellict some emotion.

"It's mine."

[mnt_raph]

There doesn't have to be fault or blame. It just...it's fine. Really.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

Quietly, yet not turning her gaze, "No, it's not."

It's pretty fucking far from fine, actually.

[mnt_raph]

*His head slumps forward. Forehead resting on her shoulder.
He sighs.*

there ain't no way to breeze past this, is there?

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April leaned her head gently against his, breathing warm across his temple.

"No," she answered, voice meek and almost inaudible.

[mnt_raph]

april...i can't. it ain't....it ain't right.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April's eyes fell closed, a long, low sigh escaping her lips. In the back of her mind, she wondered why this hurt so much. She turned her head away, swallowing hard.

"I shouldn't have come."

Well, at least they agreed on that, now.

[mnt_raph]

*He's silent for far too long.*

what is it you want from me?

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

To know if you think I'm crazy.
To know if you feel something, too.
To hold me.
To keep me safe, like always.

"I don't know."

[mnt_raph]

*He raises his head again, and begins the slow process of pulling away from the hug.

His home is in shambles, and he'd rather not be killed by all the symbolism*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April let him go, her face still turned away, reflected pale in low light. Somehow, without even knowing it, she had ruined everything, and she knew it.

She took several steps back towards the ladder and then paused, Penny's words echoing in her mind. When she spoke, it was just loud enough to be heard, her back to him.

"I didn't mean to love you. Not like this. But I do." She hesitated and then turned to look back over her shoulder at him, painted in shadows and starlight. "I forgive you, Raphael. Goodbye." She turned away again and moved quietly the remaining distance to the ladder.

One foot in front of the other, April. Just keep breathing.

[mnt_raph]

NO!

*His voice is harsh, and both his hands as well as his teeth are clenched.*

Take. It. Back.

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April stilled, one foot against the top rung of the ladder, and looked back to him, her face set, unreadable.

"No."

She didn't even know which part he meant. Didn't matter.

[mnt_raph]

I don't deserve it.
Take it back.

*His voice is more like a growl than anything else. His posture more old than new.*

[the-damsel.livejournal.com]

April pulled her foot back up onto the roof and stood, resolute.

"No."

She wasn't afraid.